Miracles.

Sometimes we can't see
What we truly need,
Too concerned with the rules to proceed
to our wishes, desires and dreams.
Trapped by our own promises
Foolishly made.
We end up with a crisis
that cannot be tamed.
A miracle is foreseen,
Seems out of reach and cannot be.
Life has always planted
Surprising seeds
that should never be taken for granted.
And towards the end
Always falls into reach.

:) can we die of happiness? hmmm.... probably not - i would have died along time go.....

My Trust is Safe.

I have the choice
And the plan to listen to only one Voice.
The answer is given,
I'm ready and driven
To take the narrow path,
Test my faith and my pride.
I know with You I can last.
My eyes deceive me
So i don't trust what i see.
You've changed me from the inside out.
And I don't have any doubts.
Don't have to prove anything else to me
Cause I already believe.
With you I can go beyond my dreams and destiny.

I want to go on a missions trip to Thailand next summer. i tried talking to my dad about it - but he said i had to be thankful for what i already had and money grows on trees..... -_-. I understand where my dad is coming from. but im not ungrateful where i stand right now, i just feel like God is leading me to do this. and i figured out that when i couldnt get my all the barbies i wanted at the age of five that the dollor bills didnt come from planting a seed. i know we dont have $6,000 just laying around under my couch ready for whatever my wish may be. Talked to my mom - she said we'll talk about in the fall, when i would acutally have to sign up for a trip, she saud i would have to work and save for it. i'm getting a job next month - kinda nerves. BUT, to me money isnt the issues here, its not my worry at all - and i kinda surprised myself, cause every other exchange program ive wanted to do, money was my worry. But here i have this feeling thats its taken care of. God will provide - i do believe this is His will and thsi is for His glory. He wants to bless me, so i belive and trust in God that He will take care of the needs me or my family cant meet.

The Potential Feeling

I am not afraid
But forever changed.
A moment passes by,
Your life flashes before your eyes
And you realize
Your box is too small.
It's time to climb the wall
To discover what's new -
The galaxy that lays before you.
I want to reach the unknown;
To be uncomfortable and put out of place.
To conquer the one thing,
That I can't figure out
But willingly to chase.
To explore, to discover, to dream and
To escape,
the Box I live in.
I'm tired of being forced
Into my little square space.

Lately I've been feeling a bit boxed. have you noticed. i tried not to make it too obvious. i want to be put out there to try conquering things - like dreams - who said i had to wait till i graduate high school? my dreams are simple, they are not becoming the CEO of a giant company and make millions upon billions and partying with p. diddy (what a stupid name) on the weekends and rolling in my green pit of paper. i simply just want to live in Europe - learn a new language and discover a culture - to find where the locals eat - how to cook whats in the local region - to not have the need to go to a blasted grocery store and just got out in the back yard and make a good Au gratin or vegetable dish - my dreams. Learning a language at home is not as easy as i thought it would be. Before i finish high school i want to at least know French and Italian. i hope next summer i can go out of the country. living in a little town just motivates me more to grow. :) I'm happy cause i know that i can do all the things i want and more. :) :)))

- Nicole Ali <3

Milk & Roses

On the corner of Judson,
Heading East,
The Sun's Rays
Highlight your lies
and I'm not planning to compromise.

The EXIT sign wasn't turned on.
So when the waters of emotion
Caved In,
You were trapped inside you sin.

When we were little
In Your backyard,
Soaked with Kaleidoscope imagination,
Our minds were wiped clean
Of any thought of the things
You would do to me.
You drank my milk and picked me Roses.
You managed to hide
But I could not leave Him or you behind
So I tried
To glue the shattered pieces of your life.
But when I hit the walls end,
Crazy colors spiraled through the dark.
Memories aside to bury;
A black lace bow in my hair
And I'm not scared.
A kiss on my forehead
and we run opposite roads;
I see the shining sun ahead.

i know it doesnt really make sense, but to me it does-- i actually really like this, its kinda crazy but its what is going on in my head haha

-- :)

TIME....

Did you clock out of your mind?
And forgot it was time to say
'I'm Sorry'.
A firework goes off,
You check your watch;
Fifteen more minutes to go
Until you hit the unknown;
And then improve is all you have.
You should have sat down
And figured out this self-made mess.
It can make you heal.
It can make you forget.
Your greatest nightmare,
Your deepest regret.
Your prayer has been answered
And you wake up to see;
The picture has been flipped
Light is switched.
Live what good you have left,
And hear the clock tick.

tick tock tick tock tick tock...i wrote the first line and then decided i wanted to make this about time. i know it doesn't make too much sense; again interpret the way you feel necessary.

Smile the sun is shining :)) --Ms. Nicole

My Security Blanket

The streets are made of gold,
Here, were never going to feel old
and we dance in rain or shine.
I hold you close
Cause you are forever mine
In this heavenly place we call Home.
You gave me everything I need;
You payed the price and did the deed.
My breath has been taken away
And I wouldn't need it back,
But I want to only sing your name.
My feet won't hurt from dancing
And my eyes are wet from my happy tears,
And my darkest fears,
Have have run away scared.

Theres not a big enough number to record my joys
and NO blue-eyed boy
can give or take what I've got inside
Cause I'm secure,
And it wasn't hard to find :)

another one. it was my best friends birthday yesterday, she turned 16 and i adore her so much. were like two peas in a pod :P i havent written in almost a week and it felt good to sit in bed before i actually went to sleep and have a blank a sheet of paper and pen.

-- :) Nicole

Discovery the Truth

Your Dreams are so far
From where you are.
You need to chase them down,
Like your running the campaign for the king's crown.
Can you taste the wind?
Do you hear your sins
creeping on you now?
Forget the past
or it will tragically last
and it will destroy the real you
Can you hear the beat
Of your chattering teeth;
Trying to do this on your own?
the Guide Book is here
To make your path is clear
And the Light will never burn out into the dark.

so this is the part where i say "just written last night"....um well its true haha i just need to learn how to phrase it differently. I cant really explain this one, interpret it for yourself i guess. but i really do love this one, more than anything love thing ive written. haha i guess its cause i have no inspiration for those ones :) enjoy....

-- :)

Just Me in a Couple Words :)

So I've decided to take alittle break from all the writing and just do alittle somethig different, plus I'm going up North alittle bit and im going to be away from a computer in a little town called Fish Creek. [so no blogging :( ] Its a cute little town, I've been there before and its very peaceful. So I think I will get a lot of good writings done!!! :) So let's see...where do I start..... :)

SEVEN RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME....good place to start :P

1. I'm half Mexican and half Swiss
2. I wish I could be a ballet dancer
3. I love rings -- love unique and kinda crazy ones
4. I'm going to jail......haha jk. I'm just listening to a song called "I'm going to Jail" by Anarbor -- never been to an active jail, been to alcatrazin Cali.
5. I'm really into photography. Check out my flickr! http://www.flickr.com/photos/14305366@N03/ or my name is pinkberries950, you could try looking me up that way...
6. Never been in love - Still waiting boys! :P
7. i have a cat, her name is Missy
p.s. i dont like rice, but i eat it anyways haha

Confused? I don't even know....
I had this idea to call you up
I honestly don't know what I thought
I could have dialed my phone
and casually asked what's up?
The strangest urge that involved you.
I haven't had one of these since the last blue moon.
And I have no idea what to do.

^^
Wrote this yesterday evening, when i wanted to call up an old friend who i wasnt really friends with any more but we used to be close...i guess haha. so i was going to do it, but i thought maybe, oh God i have no idea what i was thinking. well anyways, i didn't do and i wonder what would have happened if i did, but im ok that i didnt.

Check 'The Maine''s new CD Called "Black and White"-- its amazing!!! I love it!! listening to it right now

um....i have to go soon...i have a long five hour drive up ahead of me with my 3rd cousin from Switzerland who came over two days ago. She's living with my grandparents and she's here to learn english better. So she's my new friend for the next couple of days! :) I 'm looking forward to the trip.

Thanks for reading.....

Love, Nicola :)

My Summer Nights :)

We went out to explore
On this cool summer night,
Just you and I.
How did we miss the sunrise?
We were too distracted with each others eyes.
I have to admit, I was feeling kinda crazy.
I knew I was the one you adored,
And you were the one I fell for
In this cool summer night.
And you just could have might
Stolen a kiss,
Straight from my lips;
But there will be plenty of time
Cause you know that I will stick by your side.
Did you feel my heart soar
Straight through the clouds?
Out in the fields;
We can't say goodbye
And let our hearts run dry.
I'm loving to hear,
You call me 'my dear'.
The sky passes by,
Knowing there's more time
And another wonderful cool
Summer Night.

i had to write before i went to bed...
i was so inspired by this amazing singer/song writer-- David Cook (not the guy who one american idol, different guy) Hes also the lead singer of one of the greatest bands 'My Favorite Highway'. Dave recently just put out some songs and i cant stop listening to them. 'Perfect of Something' inspired me with this one; even though what i wrote is no way even comparable to his amazing lyrics. haha im actually listening to that song right now and i just want to swim in the melody. haha not thats physically possible.

--Ms. Nicola

What I Do With You

The rain drums on my roof,
And I can't take my eyes away from the window;
Like I'm waiting for something to please me.
I dont feel the need to leave my apartment,
But if you join me, I'll dance with you
'Till im soaked and my skin is cold and ice-blue;
And we waited till the morning for the sun to dry us off.
It was so hot,
We cooked our eggs on the sidewalk.
And had cold pizza and coffee for breakfast
You know me,
Im not the one to start a fight.
But with our food,
I found it my morning delight
And i couldn't resist the temptation.
We found it hard to say goodbye,
Even when you went inside
Just to get some water
For our throats that were desert dry.
The street burned our feet,
As we ran trying to catch each other.
After awhile we didn't even bother
Cause we both knew,
You and Me and I had You.
Laying on the deck of my apartment,
Eating chocolate cake with our hands
You asked me if I wanted to start a band. ;)

This place use to be my castle,
You were the knight that climbed the wall,
Took me away;
And now we spend our days
Singning and laughing the blue colored rain.
You gave me inspiration I could trust
When I ran out of fairy dust.
We dressed up
Just to play together in the mud.
The sprinklers went off in the golf course next door.
We rolled in the green cut grass,
And tried hard to muffle our laughs.
The 16th hole was a puddle
And our new secret playground.
We swam with our clothes on
And took picutres underwater,
With your kodak camera.

When Summer turned to Fall,
The leaves changed color
But we stayed the same.
Then with the snow, we tried making igloos
Pretending we were eskimos.
Eating only the marshmellows out of our hot chocolate.
With the snowflakes in our hair,
We can't wait for the hot summer air.
So we can dance in the rain,
Burn our feet,
And every night watch the sun
Fall into a deep sleep.

written last night too. The first part would be my perfect day.
i think thats how its suppose to be, the never changing, surprising love.
the only thing is, i dont live in an apartment, oh well
it could still work.

-Ms. Nicola (i dont like nicolette so much anymore)

GoodBye

Can I just I'm not interested in the things you do,
You slow me down and I start to think what am I doing waiting around for you.
My mind is too tired to think of ways to fit you in;
The a-hole can't fit the square pin.
I'll know when your phone number shows up,
That you want some more,
If I want to sink and crash I'll let you know
Can we just say the war is over,
You can tell everyone you dominted over me.
But just to let you know,
The truth always comes out eventually.
So pick and choose the lies you want to spread;
Cause one day all this will come to an end.
They still all say your a good guy;
So don't worry, your reputation is alright
Just know that you can't screw me over next time.
I still feel you watching me,
Like your waiting for me to fall.
Casting a spell over me,
To end me once and for all.
Everyone's growing up.
I don't know why
But you seemed to have stopped short.
Maybe it's cause you have an excuse
For everthing you've "never done wrong".
You can't accept you've made mistakes too;
The world is big and it does'nt revolve around you.
Your too messed up to see,
Anything clearly.

I was walking down State Street.
The rain made me wet all the way down to my feet.
I think about how are friendship went wrong.
I'm too tired to figure it out,
And it's taking too long
I spot you from the window of my taxi;
and my definition of you has changing completely
Your not the same guy i once knew,
and I'm happy to say i dont really know you.
So let's get on without each other.
We seem to be doing a decent job so far.
You've done this plenty of times before.
So cheers to you,
A life of consisting of you is no more.

written while talking to a new friend who kinda inspired me.
this is my way of putting an old crappy memory to rest
actually its been at rest, i just was thinking about it last night cause i found an old journal
and i knew that its not even worth thinking about it
thats what i realized
so this is a final goodbye.

Bye -Ms. Nicola

the Father Fracture

I don't know why,
But I can't decide,
Where to go from here.
Out on my own;
Destroying what's close to my heart.
Things aren't clear.

You turned me around;
Drew me out,
Of the hole I dug myself.
Something I know,
Is about to change.
He is the only One,
That can answer my cry for help.
Blurred men depicted as walking trees;
A lay of hands one more time,
And then I saw everything clearly.

My fracture is healing,
I'm praying and knealing;
I need to get some things straight.
I know who I am,
No more feelings are going to be the root of my plans.
I'm starting to break free.
As I cry "Abba Father",
I know now, there's no more need to wander.

The ocean is calm,
I will follow Him forever on;
Now to my greatest destiny.
The voice is clear,
I start to hear,
And speak words I cannot comprehend.
With Him I am strong;
So devil, don't even try to bring it on.
I walk with Him by my side,
With these pure feelings in my heart and my mind;
I've got nothing shameful to hide.

written yesterday [happy independence day! :)] and today.
I've been thinking a lot of what my Pastor has been teaching about--the Father Fracture;
meaning sometimes we have the wrong image of God. like 'He doesn't want to heal us' or 'not wanting to bless us'. or 'it's just not our time for those things to happen'. but He loves us so dearly, why wouldn't He want to do those things?
it just gave me something to chew on and digest--really made me think on how I view God.
obviously been thinking about it a lot or else i would have never written this.
honestly, I like this piece more than any other thing I've written-- cause actually it gives me comfort and happiness

--Ms. Nicolette :)