My Trust is Safe.

I have the choice
And the plan to listen to only one Voice.
The answer is given,
I'm ready and driven
To take the narrow path,
Test my faith and my pride.
I know with You I can last.
My eyes deceive me
So i don't trust what i see.
You've changed me from the inside out.
And I don't have any doubts.
Don't have to prove anything else to me
Cause I already believe.
With you I can go beyond my dreams and destiny.

I want to go on a missions trip to Thailand next summer. i tried talking to my dad about it - but he said i had to be thankful for what i already had and money grows on trees..... -_-. I understand where my dad is coming from. but im not ungrateful where i stand right now, i just feel like God is leading me to do this. and i figured out that when i couldnt get my all the barbies i wanted at the age of five that the dollor bills didnt come from planting a seed. i know we dont have $6,000 just laying around under my couch ready for whatever my wish may be. Talked to my mom - she said we'll talk about in the fall, when i would acutally have to sign up for a trip, she saud i would have to work and save for it. i'm getting a job next month - kinda nerves. BUT, to me money isnt the issues here, its not my worry at all - and i kinda surprised myself, cause every other exchange program ive wanted to do, money was my worry. But here i have this feeling thats its taken care of. God will provide - i do believe this is His will and thsi is for His glory. He wants to bless me, so i belive and trust in God that He will take care of the needs me or my family cant meet.

the Father Fracture

I don't know why,
But I can't decide,
Where to go from here.
Out on my own;
Destroying what's close to my heart.
Things aren't clear.

You turned me around;
Drew me out,
Of the hole I dug myself.
Something I know,
Is about to change.
He is the only One,
That can answer my cry for help.
Blurred men depicted as walking trees;
A lay of hands one more time,
And then I saw everything clearly.

My fracture is healing,
I'm praying and knealing;
I need to get some things straight.
I know who I am,
No more feelings are going to be the root of my plans.
I'm starting to break free.
As I cry "Abba Father",
I know now, there's no more need to wander.

The ocean is calm,
I will follow Him forever on;
Now to my greatest destiny.
The voice is clear,
I start to hear,
And speak words I cannot comprehend.
With Him I am strong;
So devil, don't even try to bring it on.
I walk with Him by my side,
With these pure feelings in my heart and my mind;
I've got nothing shameful to hide.

written yesterday [happy independence day! :)] and today.
I've been thinking a lot of what my Pastor has been teaching about--the Father Fracture;
meaning sometimes we have the wrong image of God. like 'He doesn't want to heal us' or 'not wanting to bless us'. or 'it's just not our time for those things to happen'. but He loves us so dearly, why wouldn't He want to do those things?
it just gave me something to chew on and digest--really made me think on how I view God.
obviously been thinking about it a lot or else i would have never written this.
honestly, I like this piece more than any other thing I've written-- cause actually it gives me comfort and happiness

--Ms. Nicolette :)